he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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