You're my little dorito
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
