Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
