i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
