Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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