So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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