And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
