Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
