I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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