You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
