the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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