on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I am morally bankrupt
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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