I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i believe in u and ur pee
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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