i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
