the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
