That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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