Just fell off a train. Bad.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
