I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My penis needs a shock collar
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
