shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So squirting runs in the family.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
