I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
two words...techno handjob
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
