Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
