Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
