i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
