I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
