I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
