Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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