You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
