I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i now understand why vodka
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
