Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i always forget guys have bellybuttons

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(386): View more from Florida

Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster

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(940): View more from Texas

He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x

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(908): View more from New Jersey

All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti

(615): View more from Tennessee

That's what happens when you party with the tribe

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.

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