Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
