God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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