i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
