Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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