weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
