Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
