please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
