What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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