I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
