The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
