sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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