Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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