thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
