we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So. Much. Porn.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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