Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
