We're facebook friends in real life
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
