Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
