just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
