Your tits are I can't wait for
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
