You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
