they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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